Thought for the day...

In my devotions, the theme of "Sabbath" has come to the fore. The time to take a break and refocus on God. This does not need to be a long stretch, but spaces throughout the day when the demand of the world are put on hold. This past week has been filled with many different challenges and conflicts to be resolved. It has been a time for new deadlines, planning of essential projects affecting the lives of other people, and hopefully new ways of empowering people to be able to live moral and ethical lives.

And so I'm looking at my diary, asking when the next moment will be for a Sabbath. I think I can spot a few days in September after Conference, but for now, it is "close laptop lid", put cellphone on silent-mode and drink Rooibos tea with honey while watching a cartoon with my sons.

Almost forgot, thought for the day: "If you can't fix the problem with a hammer, it is an electrical fault."

Some thoughts on Psalm 14

Psalm 14
Ephesians 3:14-21;
John 6:1-21


“The fool says in his heart: ‘There is no God’”. There is no God. Who would say such a thing? From a place of faith, one can join with the Psalmist in frustration and anger, saying ‘Surely, only a fool will say such a thing’. With the Psalmist we may very well even become very condemning of such an action, warning that God will show Godself and that those fools will soon come face-to-face with their own foolishness. In this Psalm, we are asked to draw a line in the sand and to separate the fools from the wise. We are asked which side of the line we are standing on. Are you standing with the wise, or are you standing with the fools? I’m afraid that life is not as simple as that. I’m afraid that the Psalmist may have made it seem too easy, for one either to belong to one group or the other. I’m afraid that however strong our faith may be, there are still parts of our lives which cry out “There is no God”. If it were not so, we would be completely Godly, completely perfect, completely holy. Anybody here walk on water latterly? You know what I’m talking about. It is the place where one watches the news, sees the suffering of the innocent and for even that split second entertain the thought :”There is no God”. It is the moment of hearing devastating news that shapes your life forever “There is no God”. Sometimes these are fleeting thought, at other times a whole chapter being written in our spiritual growth. But today, we are faced with other ways in which we claim: there is no God.

There is no God outside my expectations.

In ancient faith there was no such thing. It all depended on the will of the gods. It is a very recent development in human history where we live by the philosophy that we are as big as our dreams. The American dream, the dream team, the dream body, the dream job, the dream wife, the dream husband. It is the modern search for perfection and happiness. With this way of life comes the belief that our expectations need to be met, otherwise we feel we have no meaning or purpose. Realistically speaking, of the 6 billion people in this world only a few will become famous, a few will become educated, a few will experience good health for the majority of their lives. Think about it this way. If you have satellite TV at home, the emount you spend on that per month is almost twice the amount of money that the majority of people in this world lives on per month. Isn’t that scary? Yet, when our expectations are not met, when our dreams don’t come true, we dare to say… and you guessed it “There is no God”.

There is no God outside my control.

This is the art of directing God. On the one extreme we pray as if we need to educate God, instruct God, coax God to do what we believe to be righteous and just. There are the folk who believe that God follows their instructions word-for word. A couple of years ago, a famous tele-evangelist came to South Africa. There were posters all around stating: Be in such-and-such a place and you will witness the hand of God performing miracles. To which I thought “Well, I hope God diarized the event”. But it is the subtle forms of struggle with God which affects us more, and I suppose that this is the crux of spiritual struggle, the struggle between the power of God and the will of self. The place where we are not explicitly stating that God doesn’t exist, but that my Will should count something in terms of God’s action.
There is a new U2 song which has been buzzing in my head, especially when these moments arise. The line in the song says:
“Stop helping God cross the road like a little old lady”
It may sound a bit strong, but I think it carries the just of the situation.

But hear the words of the Gospel and the Epistle:

God’s grace is sufficient for all. The miracle of the loaves and fish? Perhaps we have given it the wrong name. Perhaps it is not about the loaves and fish at all. Another reading of the parable suggests that as soon as the boy brought his food, people were touched by his generosity and starting bring out their hidden food. The miracle of the changing of hearts. If we are tempted to believe there is no God, perhaps we need to open our hearts and we will find God using what we have to ensure that there is enough for all: Enough to live, enough to love. Paul is convinced of the extent of this gift of God’s presence, for it is found in one gift: The gift of love. It is this gift which binds families together,, this gift which forges relationships, this gift which ensures that no-one should ever be in a place where they say “I’m on my own” – a place which says “There is no God”.

The fool says: “There is no God”. Let us surrender the places of our foolishness to the wisdom and Lordship of Christ.

A new chapter

I can remember my first day in Grade 1. I went to Laerskool Jongspan in Carletonville. My mom was crying and I asked her to leave so I could learn to read and write.

Today we enrolled my little-big boy at Glenstantia Primary.

I cannot say that I felt brave walking down the passage, knowing that my son's primary school days are about to start. The school seems so big, there are so many new faces... will he be ok?

Knowing Matthew, it will only take a few days for all of this to become familiar to him, but as a dad I cannot help but feel a bit scared for his part.

Psalm 91

In my devotions I read Psalm 91:7-13.

It was a passage I needed to hear today. I am tempted to read it literally, somehow hoping that it is a sign of things to turn for the better, especially after I heard some more bad news regarding my parents today.

And then I wondered: "What a great world it would be if the righteous were blessed and the wicked were punished?", or would it? There are so many good people who suffer tremendously and there are so many, shall I say "bastards", who have it all going for them: "Health, wealth, seemingly not a day's worries". Oh, the world can be glad that I'm not God, especially today.

Perhaps this is why evil prospers; there does not seem to be any incentive to be good. In a world of retribution, especially divine retribution, people would be good, or else... One might say that the reward is in the long-term. Religion would suggest it's either heaven or hell. Problem is, most of the baddies don't believe in the afterlife in any case, so they'll continue in their ways and won't bother seeing the righteous struggle.

Then again, not all people who struggle are righteous, not all people who prosper are evil. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to help God cross the road like a little old lady. I want to get behind this lady, grab her by the back and PUSH, running, with walking sticks flying, just to get to the other side quickly.

Meditation: "Stop trying to help God cross the road like a little old lady". Yes, Lord.

Stop trying...

"Stop trying to help God across the road like a little old lady..."

I love U2. This is a phrase in one of their new songs. Since my news and operation I have struggled with issues concerning my own mortality, God's will for me and my family etc.

Needless to say, I have tried to theologize God's behaviour in all this, trying to understand who God is and where God is. The more I search, the less defined and uncontrollable God becomes. And then I listened to my favourite band and heard the message loud and clear.

I will not have answers, I will not be able to rationalize all that has been and all that will come. More than that, I cannot patronize God by prescribing how God should act or how God should spare me this struggle. Like Paul, I can ask several times for this "thorn" to be taken away. I still pray for that, but in the end, this becomes a journey where I become strong in my weakness.

So, in all my questioning, in all my hunger to gain some energy to face the tasks that lie ahead today, this sentence is before me, a central point for reflection and meditation. Why not make it yours and tell me what you've discovered?

Oupa Goewies

His name was Hubertus van Goeverden. To me, and many others he was simply Oupa Goewies. He passed away almost a month ago after surgery. Oupa Goewies was a fireman, and proud of it. I remember as a small boy being put on the fire-engine and my Oupa would arrange a courteous sounding of the sirens. On Wednesdays they used to spray foam in the ambulance parking lot - a fantastic place to play hide-and-seek.

My favourite time was spent boxing with my Oupa in the quadrangle. If more people were like Oupa Goewies, we would not have a tenth of the world's problems. Did he love God? Yes. He loved God too much to belong to a church. It sounds strange, but you would understand if you knew him. A humble man, filled with love, but having no time for lying, cheating, laziness or hypocrisy. The depth of his faith and the level of his reasoning would certainly entertain great minds such as Barth and Bonhoeffer.

As news reached me of Oupa Goewies' passing, one thing struck me. There was still noise coming from the highway near our house. Horns were blaring, traffic was moving, people carried on with their lives. One of the greatest men that I have ever know had just passed away, but the world carried on as if nothing happened. What a pity.

So are all our lives, I suppose. We are all but dust. The things we regard as important are not always so. Working 18 hour days won't help the world to remember you. What do people remember? Things like sitting on top of a fire-engine, sparring in the quad, playing hide-and-seek in foam, taking walks in the park, helping to fix a flat bicycle tyre, nursing a wound, wiping a tear, celebrating life, taking time to listen.

I hope I can be even half the man to my boys as my Oupa was to me.

Hans Kung - a modern Luther

Hans Kung is one of my favourite theologians, one who is willing to stand by his beliefs despite the influences and powers of the institutional church. He recently published the second volume of his memoirs. For a brief description of the man and his work, click here - it is a fascinating read!

Luther on salvation

God works by contraries so that a man feels himself to be lost in the very moment when he is on the point of being saved... Man must first cry out that there is no health left in him... In this disturbance, salvation begins. When a man believes himself to be utterly lost, light breaks.

- Martin Luther

Back home

I am back home after my operation. They call the operation a Nissen-procedure. By the costs, they should have named it a BMW-procedure.

They made 5 holes on my stomach and then did the following by means of telescopic surgery:

1. Pull the stomach down through the diaphragm;
2. Tighten the hole in the diaphragm;
3. Wrap my stomach around the esophagus to make a one-way valve.



This way I will not get reflux into my esophagus again.

It is pretty sore, but the doctor reckons the operation was a success. Now I'm booked off until Thursday.

This was step 1. As soon as the Halo360 technology arrives in SA (a couple of months), We'll discuss zapping the Barretts and removing it completely. Thanks for all the prayers, messaged and telephone calls. It is much appreciated.

Now back to my soup, jelly and fruit juice diet (for a month!)

The night before

So, tomorrow morning at 7:30 I will undergo an operation to repair my hiatus hernia. This will hopefully stop the acid reflux. If it s succesful (doctors are very positive), then I can come off the Protein Pump Inhibators.

It has been a tremendously difficult month. My grandfather passed way last week and I conducted his memorial service on Saturday. Yet, I can feel God's presence in a powerful way. I feel at peace, yet quite nervous about the operation. The next time I blog it will be all done. God bless, and spare prayer for a brother.

Dear Wallace (and all friends)

Sorry that I'm not phoning everyone with this news, but please understand that I have a limited phone budget. I cannot thank Wallace enough for his comment a couple of days ago. I spent some time with my GP who informed me that my BE has no dysplasia (good news). I nevertheless have to seriously consider having my hiatus hernia repaired quite soon. It is about 5cm long.

I Googled EMR and the Halo360 therapies and wrote to several medical firms around the world asking whether this treatment is available in South Africa. Nothing was forthcoming. I then spoke to my GI, who told me about EMD, which is very new in S.A. and worth considering.

Then, out of the blue, a gentleman phoned me today who is the director of a company trying to bring the Halo360 technology to South Africa. He got hold of my details through one of the many e-mails I sent out. He told me that my GI and his partner are interested in launching the Halo360 in South Africa (co-incidence?) and asked me whether I would consider being one of the first people in S.A. to receive this treatment as part of a "demonstration" to GI's of what the therapy can do. It entails one half hour treatment, followed by a screening (and possibly a small procedure to get the rest of the Barrett's out) 3 months later. Clinical trials have yielded excellent results and there is a 98% success rate of removing non-dysplastic Barrett's completely!

They are basically waiting for the South African medical aids to approve the therapy, which will take about a month or two, but failing which, the therapy will cost in the region of R45 000.

On Thursday I will see my GI and talk about this possibility. Please pray for me, the GI, our medical aid and all involved to make the right decision for my case. If the medical aid does not cover, then please buy my "28 days book" (My sense of humour is returning slowly).

Thank you to all who have phoned and prayed. It really means a lot to me.

Wallace, you are constantly in my prayers and I do pray that medicine will continue to develop to help us both, and many other people around the world. Thanks again, Wallace, you may just have sparked a new field of healing in South Africa.

During the past week I fell into a severe depression, but as days passed, unexpected people "popped-up" into my life. I felt left out in the cold by God, but looking back I know that God has been with me. I am experiencing healing in my spirit, my soul and my mind from hurts that have traveled with me for a very long time. I hope my body will soon be healed as well.

Barrett's esophagus

Yesterday I was diagnosed as having Barrett's Esophagus. It is when the esophageal tissue starts changing into the same tissue which represents the intestine. This condition is not reversible and increases my risk of developing esophageal cancer. I now have to eat more meals more regularly, sleep at an angle and have to go for an annual biopsy.

It is a condition which can be managed, and if done well, will not be the cause of death.

I am scared. I don't want this to develop into cancer. I want to see my boys grow up. That's all.

New book: 28 Days of Prayer during financial crisis

Dear Friends

I am happy to announce that my new book "28 Days of Prayer during financial crisis" is in print and available from Africa Upper Room Ministries.

What is this book about? Well, first I need to make it explicitly clear that this is NOT a Prosperity Theology book. It is a resource providing a 4-week journey in recognizing God's presence, even during global financial crisis. It offers some points for consideration on how we view ministry, management of what is at our disposal and, most of all, the ability to speak honestly to God about that which creates fear and anxiety in our lives. I have incorporated much of what John Wesley said about money and trust that this will provide encouragement for the road ahead. Order forms can be downloaded from the sidebar to the right.

God bless.

A present from God.

I always think that beautiful sunsets are God's gift to those who experienced a hard day. My friends, Pete and Dion, are surrounded by beautiful scenery every single day. Where we stay, we have gorgeous highveld sunsets. This is taken about 100m from our house. I did not use any filters. This is what you get almost every day as we near winter:

Workers' Day

The 1st of May in South Africa is a public holiday - Workers' Day. It is a day where "Workers" are acknowledged and remembered.

Strange thing I noticed: Going to the mall, all the shops were still open. People were still working... oh, wait... some people were still working...the workers! Who was sitting in the restaurants with their families? People with label-clothing, expensive cellphones, eating pretty expensive meals. The workers were still working. Today they got double pay, because it is a public holiday. So, perhaps they chose to work today for financial reasons.

So, here's a suggestion: How about on Workers' Day, everybody goes to work, but workers get paid double rates while everybody from managerial level upwards work for half their day's salary?

Just a thought.

Guilt - Believing in God in order to avoid Hell.

Someone reminded me that "...when something makes us feel guilty, we tend to forget it, not wanting to go back to it".

I thought this was very profound. It is something that we all struggle with. I find it very sad that many preachers and evangelists use the "guilt-trip" method to convince people that they need God. "You are not good enough", "You don't give enough", "You must pray more...believe better...know more of your Bible".

It's amazing that Jesus never seemed to have such a conversation with people who were genuinely searching. The woman at the well met a man who simply asked her for water. All the other Jewish men reminded her that she was not good enough, simply because she was not "one of them". The list continues.

I like the following formula: "Religion teaches that if I do something, God will do something in return. Christianity teaches that God has already acted, we simply respond."

"He does not deal with us according to our sins..." This is what Scripture says. God does not go out of God's way to make us feel guilty. No. I believe in a God who showers us with love and grace. Being exposed to this, we may feel remorse, but not guilt. What do you think?

Use your imagination...

It is wonderful to be a child. Grown-ups somehow forget how to dream.

My boys found this tree-stump in my in-law's back garden. They are busy building and needed to remove this tree. Next thing I knew, I had to accompany my hunter-sons who "discovered" a dead elephant in the backyard. They proudly showed me its trunk and its amazingly long hair. I had to touch its skin, feeling how rough it is. This elephant apparently had been dead for a while, but we had to be careful as it might just be pretending that it is dead. It might get a fright, jump up and bite you with its loooooong teeth.

It took all of 5 minutes. But dreaming helped me out of a hard day's work and into a place where I could enjoy life with my sons.

Take some time to dream.

Are you judgemental?

I was. Watch this:


Click here to watch the Susan Boyle clip.

Palm Sunday - How to keep the Messiah out! (A meditation)

What a wonderful day. Jesus entered through the gates shown in the picture here. It is called the Mercy gate, or the Golden gate to Christians. It was the gate through which the Messiah was going to enter according to Jewish belief. It was to be this gate, because it led straight to the Temple. Jesus was treated like royalty, connected to the great king David in people’s songs. He entered the correct gate. And we know the story. The crowds turned and within a week, this same Jesus was crucified. They did not see him as the Messiah anymore, and neither would their children or children’s children.

In 1540, the Ottoman empire (under Suleiman the Magnificent) captured Jerusalem. He heard about this Messiah (Anointed One) who would come from the line of David and retake the throne. How do you keep the Messiah out? Well, block the gates. And so he used the heaviest stones and plaster to seal this entrance. He had to make sure that these gates would not be opened – ever again! In 1541 Suleiman the Magnificent blocked the gates. Let’s not be too pious in thinking that we do not do the same. Blocking the gates of our hearts to the love of God is a common thing. Holding on to things that we know are wrong, yet cannot quite convince ourselves that Jesus needs to enter here, is a remedy to keeping him from overturning some holy tables – the untouchables. But you know what Suleiman? You know what friend? This Messiah entered through these gates long before we even thought we could block his passage. There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God.

Suleiman wanted to be double sure that no uprising was going to take place. He knew that no Jew could walk through a cemetery, so he started burying people right in front of the gate, creating very visible gravestones, to let anybody know that this place is a no-go area for any upright Jew.These a visible to this day. As if blocking our hearts to God’s presence is not enough, we try to convince ourselves and God that this is no place for God to enter. The tombstones declaring to God that I am way down the line in my sinfulness for God to even consider stepping foot on this soil. My habits are too entrenched for God to consider me a viable person to be redeemed, my falleness too severe for God to even come close. But Suleiman, dear friend, Jesus entered through these gates long before you could ever bury the skeletons of your past in front of these gates.

Look at this picture today and imagine that this is a picture of your soul. Ask yourself: What have I used to block the gates to my heart? What material did I use to make sure the love of God does not enter through to the center of my being?

What have I planted in front of the gate, the excuses, the behavioural patterns, the habits, to make sure the Messiah will not enter here?

Here is the Good news: He is already inside. He is the one who does not only walk through cemeteries, He is the one who is risen from the grave. He is not held out by doors and locks, for He is the one who meets his disciples, his followers while they hid behind locked doors.

Happy Palm Sunday.

Sounds like the start of Apartheid in space...

'Toilet row' lowers space morale

The International Space Station, once a place where astronauts would share food and facilities, is said to be embroiled in a Cold War-like stand-off.

A Russian cosmonaut has complained he is no longer allowed to use a US toilet as well as a US exercise bike.

Gennady Padalka, 50, told Russia's Novaya Gazeta newspaper the lack of sharing was lowering the crew's morale.

The veteran cosmonaut said the problem was due to the ISS becoming a more commercial operation.

For several years after his first space mission in 1998, Mr Padalka and his American colleagues worked in total harmony, he told the newspaper.

But space missions became more commercial in 2003 and Moscow started billing Washington for sending its astronauts into space, he said. Other nations responded in kind, he added.

Space issues

"What is going on has an adverse effect on our work," said Mr Padalka, 50, a veteran of two space missions who is to be the station's next commander.

Before he lifted off to join the ISS crew on Thursday, Mr Padalka had asked whether he could use a US gym to stay fit.

"They told me: 'Yes, you can.' Then they said no," Novaya Gazeta quoted him as saying.

"Then they hold consultations and they approve it again. And now, right before the flight, it turns out again that the answer is negative."

Worse still, the regulations now required US and Russian cosmonauts to eat their own rations, he added.

"They also recommend us to only use national toilets," the newspaper quoted him as saying.

"Cosmonauts are above the ongoing squabble, no matter what officials decide," he told the newspaper. "It's politicians and bureaucrats who can't reach agreement, not us."

The situation may be exacerbated by an increase in the number of astronauts living on the ISS.

Until now only three astronauts lived on the International Space Station at any one time.

But last week, a Russian Soyuz rocket blasted off from Kazakhstan to ferry Mr Padalka and two other crew-members to the ISS. It docked safely on Saturday.

While doubling the number of crew will allow more scientific research to be carried out, it will also mean there will be less room for visitors.

Among the new crew was US billionaire Charles Simonyi, 60, a software tycoon who paid $35m (£24m) for his 13-day trip, during which he will help with research projects and take part in live broadcasts with schools.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/in_depth/7973747.stm

Published: 2009/03/31 10:14:06 GMT

© BBC MMIX