"Stop trying to help God across the road like a little old lady..."
I love U2. This is a phrase in one of their new songs. Since my news and operation I have struggled with issues concerning my own mortality, God's will for me and my family etc.
Needless to say, I have tried to theologize God's behaviour in all this, trying to understand who God is and where God is. The more I search, the less defined and uncontrollable God becomes. And then I listened to my favourite band and heard the message loud and clear.
I will not have answers, I will not be able to rationalize all that has been and all that will come. More than that, I cannot patronize God by prescribing how God should act or how God should spare me this struggle. Like Paul, I can ask several times for this "thorn" to be taken away. I still pray for that, but in the end, this becomes a journey where I become strong in my weakness.
So, in all my questioning, in all my hunger to gain some energy to face the tasks that lie ahead today, this sentence is before me, a central point for reflection and meditation. Why not make it yours and tell me what you've discovered?